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evankinkley · 1 month ago

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half the fandom believing agatha and rio are the main characters of AAA, while the show, press, interviews, cast and crew couldn't be more clear that the main characters are agatha and billy.

#agatha all along #manage your own expectations.

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serpentface · 12 days ago

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What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?

It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.

They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.

So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.

Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).

The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.

The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.

So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.

Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.

#Akoshos are also probably like.... 1-2% of the population. Like its an Accepted gendered space but not a large one so it's less #'managed' in a lot of senses #It's actually kind of hard to 'access' the akoshos space to begin with. Like parents look for Signs In Early Childhood and most #akoshos are typically assigned their gender early.#If you don't manage to access this space there's a good chance of being Stuck as a man with any deviance from your expected #gender roles being the HIGHLY unaccepted 'male effeminacy' which is a VERY different concept than (though obviously has tensions With)#being akoshos. A lot of akoshos self-label as adults after losing support from their families in part for being '''effeminate men'''#(this is also kind of the only instance in which gender self-identification occurs on a basis that will be Broadly accepted. Though #this happens in the context of already being detached from one's familial support network and people not knowing you self-assigned)#There are also certainly Some cases where akoshos self-identify as adults and this is accepted by their fathers. For a variety #of reasons but unfortunately often it's going to be like-#'we must have missed something but whatever. glad our kid is actually supposed to be this way and isn't just effeminate'#Also much less likely to be accepted if they're an expected male heir without brothers to take up the role in their stead #And VERY unlikely in upper classes where family members are public figures. If you've been introduced as a man here you're probably #out of luck.#(Like you'll see accusations that adult-assigned akoshos are just pretending in order to disguise being male effeminates)#This position isn't freedom from gender norms or like. The equivalent of an accepted trans identity. It's its own assigned gender #space in an Expanded but strict binary with expanded but strict roles #Also the societal trends over centuries are showing signs of increasing collapse between the notions of 'effeminate man' (bad)#and 'akoshos' (normal). At this point the concepts are still very separate but the current societal trajectory is leaning towards the #akoshos role being phased out of its normalization (in tandem with Wardi culture becoming more intensely patriarchal with #the collapse of Wardi groups into one identity)#Like 600 years ago there was NOT a concept of 'effeminate man' and proto-akoshos roles were a #more central concept that enveloped divergences from expected masculinity. Whereas now the akoshos space is significantly narrower #and the concept of 'effeminate man' exists in tandem as a stigmatized descriptor. And things have gotten to the point of #people claiming that ''effeminate men'' will 'pretend' to be akoshos #The akoshos identity becoming stigmatized/phased out isn't inevitable but the tensions around it are definitely growing #Though there's also a sense that Peak Patriarchy has been hit and you're starting to see people pushing back at these norms in fairly #notable ways. There's not going to be like. A feminist revolution but civilian women getting more political freedoms (while the overall #context stays patriarchal) is a likely outcome which could also have side benefits of relaxing masculinity standards Somewhat

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necrotic-nephilim · 2 months ago

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i’m feeling messy. for the new ask game, 5 :)

for the choose violence ask game!

5. worst discord server and why

of COURSE you would choose to be this messy, you lil rat. <3 i will be kind enough to not name the server, it's a general Batfamily server i found on Disboard. most Bafam discord servers tend to be... anti leaning so it's something i sort of expect, but this one has a "ship advisory list", including ships you're not allowed to share media of (like fanfic or fanart) and if you discuss the ship you can be told to stop talking about it. and there were the typical ships you'd expect like Joker/Harley, BatJokes, and ofc a "no proships" umbrella ban. but some of the ships fucking baffled me. like canon ships were on this list. ships i to this day can't figure out why they'd be banned. the top ships of the list that just *got me* in terms of "... what is bad about this ship???" were

DickBabs

DonnaDick

Barry/Diana

Barry/Dinah

JayRose

Catwoman/Penguin

Talia/Bane

some of these i didn't know were shipped in the *first place* but even if they are, i can't fathom what's wrong with them. some of them are canon, normal ships? like what did JayRose do wrong. it's one of Jason's healthier relationships. and DonnaDick somehow gets me the most. my only guess is that antis heard them referred to as the Wonder Twins and thus decided the ship was incestual. bc otherwise how. why. i laugh everytime i think about DonnaDick being problematic.

on one hand i do think it's fucking hilarious of a list and it always makes me laugh bc i cannot fathom the mentality. but on the other hand it is sort of depressing that so many public social platforms for discussing the Batfam are becoming *so* anti-leaning that ships can be banned simply bc the mods of the server decided they were problematic for some unforeseen reason. it was the biggest depiction of "i don't like this ship so it's problematic" i've ever seen. like where does the goalpost stop moving? when does it somehow become problematic to ship things in general? it was wild even for anti stuff. truly the most baffling server i've been in.

#necrotic answerings #necrotic and divine #ask game #proship #there are probably other shitty servers i've been in #but that one lives rent free.#tho i need you to know #my answer was *almost* the official dc discord server #i've never seen a more poorly moderated space in my life #it's pure madness.#how did dc think that was a good idea #i have so many questions for dc about that one.#also any discord server with a trigger warning list that's a mile long and adds members triggers #i'm sorry about that one but i have feelings about how you need to manage your own triggers online #and cannot expect public spaces like discord servers to cater to your triggers.#a contained trigger warning list with like. the typical gore/nsfw/drug use/etc makes sense to me #but having it so long it includes pieces of media is. to me just censorship but what do i know-

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bondagebimbo · 1 month ago

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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.

and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠

I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.

I’m just. I give up.

this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭

#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive #half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass #NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone #but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her #all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed #just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one #like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no #leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate #of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it #like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for #oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow #and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks #towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else #I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey #and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense #I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too #I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted #to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest #and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long #fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest #for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days

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mars-ipan · 5 months ago

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hey folks did you know i love super dangan ronpa 2

#marzi speaks #thinking abt the themes in that story #ESPECIALLY the letting other people’s perceptions dictate who you are vs choosing who you are for yourself and not letting anyone stop you #like almost every single one of the sdr2 cast has a front they put on/identity they’re ‘supposed’ to be vs who they truly are #komaeda’s i could write an essay on so we’re gonna skip him bc. energy #hajime’s is obvious. i don’t need to explain that one. though he tries really hard to come off as more masculine as well which. augh #speaking of masculine souda is a victim of toxic masculinity. he was bullied and had a dad who sucked so he changed himself to look fiercer #ibuki left her band due to ‘creative differences’- she didn’t fit into that classic pop band mold and she allowed herself to deviate #mahiru puts extra pressure on men around her bc Her Dad Also Sucked and she’s sick of having to deal with weaponized incompetence #gundham is this sweet kind kind boy who hides it all underneath a veil of darkness. the darkness is not a lie either though he is both #sonia. literally a princess. has huge shoes to fill. in reality she’s a horror fiend who just wants to nerd out abt true crime #nekomaru’s heart condition would have taken him out of sports forever but he found another way and started team managing instead #fuyuhiko is set up to be the next head of the kuzuryu clan but on the inside he is so compassionate (and canonically a prude lmao)#peko is literally raised as a tool and tries to embrace this role even though the one she works for just wants her to be herself #i haven’t seen hiyoko’s ftes but i imagine she’d be far less cruel if she didn’t have to deal with constant infantilization and perverts #twogami just. as a whole. the whole character. yeah #there’s for sure more but i haven’t seen everyone’s ftes so. yanno #like fuck !!!!!! people will always have a perception of what they think you should be but you cannot truly be happy #until you allow yourself to disregard those expectations and forge your own path instead !!!! fuck !!!!!

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 5 months ago

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I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.

#one day i will understand how to convey self in a way that is Mine and also Effective Communication #but lord knows it ain't today #it's always so interesting to me the way people decide to position me in their social/power schema #the funny thing i think is that even as a toddler people seemed to assign me a seriousness and gravity of social value that was both #irrational and inexplicable and in many cases wildly inappropriate #apparently one of my auntie's got in a bad way of 'consulting' me like her personal spiritual guide when I was like #two years old????#and she had to be like #you can't keep talking to my toddler about this stuff #that's an extreme one but like #it's also in line with the trend #i don't think people realize how dehumanizing it feels to be Assigned Moral and Social Weight and Value like that #it makes it so painfully clear to me that i am expected to manage to accommodate everyone's needs while never having #or at least never expressing or acknowledging in the presence of others #any needs of my own regardless of their impact on me #sometimes I think people assume that I went into the fields I did as like. a white knight type motivation #or like #that going into the field is what's made me the way I am #and like.#not really. it's more that I knew my role in life was 'other people's emotional regulation/go-to anchor' as long as I've had self-concept #and at a certain point you've been playing that role long enough that your options are either #become a subject matter expert and contributer to the field #or fucking kill yourself #because you certainly can't keep doing what you're doing #i dunno. i guess i just wished there was anyone in my life i trusted to see me as the fully complexified and messy human I am #i might feel a little less like i'm the only real thing in my life #anyway i think i'm gonna go. dissociate out of existence for a while before i get the kind of suicidal that's going to worry wifey #i don't think i can cope with needing to regulate her out of an anxiety response right now and i understand that means i can't need care atm #you ever just get the feeling that you're drowning under the weight of the needs you just can never seem to meet? i do.

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rwby-confess · 5 months ago

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Confession #125

#rwby #philosophicalpug #shipping #rare pairs #weiss schnee #fiona thyme #Weiss/Fiona #“Weiss! You manage to do all this on your own? Thats amazing!”#cut to rest of the team gasping for air #When Weiss is the team leader she expects results A 👏 S 👏 A 👏 P 👏

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catalisst · 23 days ago

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#my post #friendship takes trust and time #not to be entered into lightly #friendship: an introvert's Mount Everest #expectation management might help #the truth hurts ... choose your words wisely #to thine own Self be true #catalisst's caffeine-free conversation

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vse-kar-vem · 8 months ago

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how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔#if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it)#i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable!#fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom)#i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me !#sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭#vee rambles

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deus-ex-mona · 9 months ago

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s. s ave me, meoto…

#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst #today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed #man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. i’d laugh if i were anyone else tbh #first i couldn’t start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing #*and* what’s worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CAN’T HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA #stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and it’s just.#life’s *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ʘ‿ʘ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadn’t started anything #and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while he’s fumin’ away like a freakin’ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady #who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa #and i can’t read maps/i don’t even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely #but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination #and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me #the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol #anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry on—#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meoto………..

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mintedwitcher · 1 year ago

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I just saw a "life hack" video (I hate that term but that's what the OP called it so) for an alternate way to open a pull-tab tin, by slotting a fork/spoon through the tab and using it as a lever to open the lid. I thought it was pretty great. Pull-tabs are my enemy in the kitchen, mostly because nearly every time I open one by hand, the momentum of the lid opening causes the contents to splatter. It irritates the fuck out of me. Now, I have a hard silicone hook tool to open them, which I love, but I've never actually tried using a fork or a spoon to do the same job. So, I thought it was pretty cool that OP was sharing this.

Tell me why there are hordes of angry, defensive assholes in those comments making fun of it. "How to make an easy job harder!" "Just open it by hand like you're supposed to!" "The Laziness has peaked!"

First of all: disabled people exist. Elderly people exist. People with mobility, dexterity, or strength issues exist. Just because you're not one of them (yet) does not mean these ideas are useless or lazy. And the implementation of these ideas by someone who is not disabled or elderly does not make someone lazy, either.

Second: just because you see something posted online does not mean it's automatically made for you! See there's this thing called a target audience, which means a select demographic that the content is aimed for. And to help determine who that audience is, we normally use these things called context clues. In this case, clue number one: can you easily open a pull-tab by hand? Yes? Then this isn't for you, move along.

This should not be this complicated. If a tool or an idea or a 'hack' is not 'useful' to you, then it's not for you. You're not the target audience. If you can find use for a tool or an idea or a 'hack', then congratulations, it's for you! Use it! It's literally that simple! But we should not have to be explicitly labelling every little idea with "THIS IS FOR XYZ" for you to even consider that maybe, some things just are not for you.

#i am so frustrated #this is like. grade school knowledge and these FULLY GROWN ADULTS cant manage it #are my expectations for people just too high or something?#anyway #ableism #also pls note that while some diagnoses like autism can make context clues harder to grasp its not impossible #and its not impossible to look at yourself and assess your own abilities and go on from there #vent

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whoviandoodler · 3 months ago

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you ever go into a tag for a show or whatever and find several painstakingly created gif sets from interviews with the actors where they're just like. fully mocking fans? talking about them like they're the most despicable thing on this earth kind of bitter mocking. and on the one hand you're like, okay, i get it, fans can really be shit and get overly parasocial and think you owe them something beyond the work you created but on the other it's like. bro this makes me not want to engage with anything you do at all. ever. you don't have to sing your fans praises but you can do them the basic courtesy of professionalism and not ridiculing the entirety of everyone who both engages with your creative work and whose interest ultimately results in your paycheck.

#dan talks #dont expect this to breach containment but just in case locking it up #bcs there are like a million people out there who'll misconstrue what i said in a complaint post #theres just this air sometimes in fandom where actors etc go beyond boundary setting and into fanbase mockery #where ure supposed to nod along and mock as well bcs haha stupid fans but the whole time youre aware it includes u as well #ik this is a complex topic and a lot of stuff leads to creators getting bitter towards their fans #but oscillating between 'we love u give us money <3' and outright mockery just sits rly badly w me #creators i really love have started doing it too the last few months and its excruciating #to be clear i dont rly engage w anyone's private life ever and im lurker extraordinaire #i rarely know the actors' name much less care to watch their interviews and stuff thats meant to like give u a sense of peeking into #their private lives #and i have to assume those interviews are mandated?? so sometimes they provoke reactions not of their own volition and are thus bitter #idk lots of thoughts #i get it i rly do they're people too who get annoyed and do mean jokes about it like everyone else #but it gets a whole dif dimension when those mean jokes are public and get back to people they're said about #who are often not even the ones who did anything #the internet is not the privacy of ur friend group!! rules go both ways #managing your frustrations about being public and keeping to professionalism when you're online is a huge part of that job #you're a person too both means 'gtfo out of my house youre not my friend' and treating your job like it's a job and not a living room #gossip circle #maybe thats the thing??? that the comfort of a certain environment blurs the lines between professional and friend chat #just feel sad for those gif makers bro don't spend care and time on words that explicitly ridicule you #ok that's it for today thank you for tuning into dan central

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starbuck · 4 months ago

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good things today:

National Park agreed to let us do a year-long research project starting in January which is gonna look REALLY good on my resume (and also be fun!)

difficult conversation with my boss went well (I think she agreed with me and I’d gonna follow my advice/had already reached the same conclusion herself)

fun concert (with banjo!)

made plans with a friend for tomorrow

got school work done

#sooooooooo pleased with today actually #the most important things today were that the meeting go well and the convo with my boss go well #and fellas we are two for two!#i thought she might be really hesitant to agree with me but i feel like she got it #bc i was legitimately coming at it from an unbiased perspective and she appreciated that #of course i DO have a secret biased angle but that’s frankly not even my fault #if someone says they’re gonna quit if they don’t get a certain job and then clearly demonstrates that they are not capable of that job… 🤷🤷#i did not cause that situation - so i am well within my rights to call it as i see it #tbh threatening to quit if you don’t get a job you’re unqualified for says a lot #like. this is a seasonal job - feel free to quit at any time!#but to be so specifically fixated on getting this one particular job and expecting to be handed it despite All Of That…#ridiculous #the definition of making your own bed #but i said it in a nice way of course so it got through #bc i do legitimately want her to improve and i feel like giving her the job would do the opposite of that #what she needs is strong and effective leadership (particularly when it comes to people management) to learn from #will she get it? who’s to say #maybe she’ll quit!#and wouldn’t that just be too bad…

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anaalnathrakhs · 8 months ago

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btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit.#i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them.#but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu''#it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps????#it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped.#the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????''#oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

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angeart · 4 months ago

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the boatem circus mumbo rambles might be late...

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crazy-fruit · 1 year ago

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Not surprised but still disappointed that my university seems to have 0 funding for students attending conferences (and possibly presenting their own results)

#jojo rambles #uni life #we used to have it but covid has cost the state a lot of money which they partly took from university fundings #and I get that it got cut but damn it so stupid #and fuck I am working and could cover the costs on my own but what about students who actually can't afford it?#do you want young researchers?#diverse young researchers?#still gonna write the funding office but I don't expect them to know somethingq #which could also be a problem #cuz why should professors or the head of the faculity finances know about fundings?#which is also a problem #at least the conference organizers have been supportive #but they adviced me to look for other funding as it is better for your CV #its insane how unattractive academics in Germany is and how they still managed to make it even shittier

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